Thinking about ...

Yesterday I stood outside the Champlain Valley Unitarian Universalist Church, listening to a person describe her forays into creating a pollinator garden. I’d already sat through a couple of hours of insights and suggestions and Power Points about how to create a permeable, flood resilient yard. I am no wiser, to be honest. It all felt like a cacophony of voices repeating “It’s up to you.”

"Bee pollinating Aquilegia vulgaris" by Roo72 is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

It began to drizzle. I draped the hood of my rain jacket onto my head. A woman asked a question that partially reflected my own. To paraphrase, she asked how she could transform her yard in an affordable way. I understood her concern. What struck me throughout the presentations were the words, “my husband” or “my husband and I” or “my work as …” or other phraseology signaling that the presenters have someone with whom to share labor and expense. Or they had full-time, well-paying jobs. I have neither. I have a yard, a shovel, three rakes (one broken), and aspirations.

Everyone seemed excited about going on the two designated tours to see a rain garden and pollinator garden. These attractions were taking place in separate locations in Middlebury and most of us would have to drive to them. I considered my options, flipflopping about going on a tour with one part of my brain, while listening to the happy gardener with another part. Every now and again, I wondered whether any of this information would help me grow vegetables in a sustainable way and learn how to prevent a repeat of the water damage my yard received last year (and that I keep worrying about this year).

As we all drifted away to (possibly) attend the upcoming tours, I wasn’t sure what my next steps were going to be until I kept driving on Route 7 North and headed home. I was exhausted by listening to what I might do and still wondering what I can do to help my environment become permeable, productive, and attractive to pollinators.

This morning the weather is as cloudy and rainy as it was yesterday. I’m still wondering.